Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
