I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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