my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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