but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
