yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
