you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Someone shattered a urinal.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
