Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
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I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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