pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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