He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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