Swine flu. Run for my life!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
