Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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