I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize