We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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