I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize