I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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