Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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