I am puke
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
