I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
