1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize