it wasn't lemon gatorade
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
