Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
