Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
