i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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