I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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