Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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