Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
