Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
