woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
