I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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