Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
