Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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