One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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