I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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