Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
