mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He is an equal opportunity slut.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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