Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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