sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Please, let me fuck your mom
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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