im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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