I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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