This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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