Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
