Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
