this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she peed on how many people?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My life is pants optional.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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