You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Barsexuality is the new black.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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