the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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