I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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