How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
