Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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