Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
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That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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