I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
