Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
