The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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