you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
