Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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