If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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