how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
