Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Where is the hickey?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
this will be a night to untag.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
