no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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