Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's never too late to be topless.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
