hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
